… it’s a good book, one of my favs, you should read it…
well I had written a response to a question which I am very proud of for some reason, I thought I posted it but in case, I’ll do it again.
Question: If you have wings, does that mean you’re an angel?
My Response : Sadly no. It just means you are one of among the masses that contain a futuristic deformity, who will soon undergo test of unimaginable torture and pain, under speculation, being studied under the microscope of optimistic scientists who will try to discover the gene in which you contain and utilize in others. Being the disposable people we are to the government, they will be creating mutants who will be eradicated unknowingly by the ones who changed them, created them, only for the purpose to create a better soldier for military or high authoritative uses.
Hmm, idk though could be true, but I have no idea. What’s funny is that when after I wrote it, I felt like a conspiracy theorist, funny huh?
I don’t know, but everyone is awkward with me now. I feel misplaced, and I don’t like it at all…
& I kinda get high a lot now, so I guess that might be a reason of I guess somewhat rejection. ugh :/ =[
Well, I think I’m just ready to move on with my life, and mostly everyone I know now will be like I never knew them before. It kinda makes me sad when I think about it… but…
So, having to use the oil pastel bridges I made in art as a metaphor I came up with the a funny conclusion of time, which I found out goes on the back of it… >.< shit I just bull-shitted it, I mean at least I got a good grade on it. :/
Bridges are gateways in our lives. They connect us to the past, present, and the future. Not only do they connect us through time, but they also represent the connection we have with one another be it emotional, spiritual, or even physical. Life is like a bridge as well; having the water pass through, like the events that occur in our lives.
So I think I might be an autistic child, I fit most of the characteristics, other than being young and some others.
Appears indifferent to surroundings
Appears content to be alone, happier to play alone
Displays lack of interest in toys
Displays lack of response to others
Does not point out objects of interest to others (called protodeclarative pointing)
Marked reduction or increase in activity level
may laugh, cry, or show distress for unknown reasons
Do not express interest in other people and often prefer to be alone
Resists cuddling
Avoids cuddling or touching
Frequent behavioral outbursts, tantrums
Inappropriate attachments to objects
Maintains little or no eye contact
Over- or undersensitivity to pain, no fear of danger
Sustained abnormal play
Uneven motor skills
Unresponsiveness to normal teaching methods and verbal clues (may appear to be deaf despite normal hearing)
Maybe, its the root of all my problems. It kinda works, well to a point, I might have developed into being autistic, or beyond it, almost close enough becoming a recluse, which does seem like a likely outcome. So I guess I’m yet to see what’s to come…
I really don’t know. Most of this is bull… but most of it is true aswell… so eh. :/
I’ve noticed that I’ve lost a large amount of friends, but not completely, and I feel like few I have now are kind of distancing themselves from me. Or it just might be me, but I know not to doubt myself, and in all it’s all true, except for the few I can honestly say; and know is corny, but we are and always be friends no matter what, I can say without a doubt.
I hope this to be true, but for the ones that I think are drifting away, I try to pull them back in, but put that space between us that makes me think, there’s no connection which make me feel like I’m just an annoyance that they soon won’t have to worry about for I’ll be leaving. It kind of hurts to think that, but I can only deduct all the possibilities to that answer, especially since those are one that I want to keep. Maybe I’m just going through the phase where I want what I can’t have.
To be truthful, I can only consider about 2 and a max of 4 of my friends ACTUAL friends, based on and how long I’ve known them, and the things we’ve shared, and I know I need more of them, but it’s hard when they feel like they don’t want to be, and I won’t push and push until something happens, but all I have to do is ask a simple question, and it will end with the make or break answer. Just do I dare?
[from Shakespeare's Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, Act III, Section 1]
Presented version of Hamlet’s Silioquy.
“To be, or not to be – that is the question:
To die, to sleep -
No more – and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache,
To die, to sleep -
To sleep – perchance to dream, ay,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th’ oppressor’s wrong, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th’ unworthy takes,
Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
from whose bourn No travelers returns,
The conscience does make cowards of us all,
And enterprise of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.”
I feel misplaced, and I don’t like it at all…
: regressedprgrssn
:equivocal.ersatz
